Be Still

So lately I have been pondering many aspects of my life. “What if I’d made this decision?” “What do I do now?” “What path should I take, choices should I make?” One can drive themselves nuts with ‘what if’s’ and ‘mighthavebeens’. Then a friend of mine sang a beautiful song in church yesterday. “If We Could Only Be Still” by The McKameys. (The song can be played here: http://grooveshark.com/#!/search/song?q=The+McKameys+If+We+Could+Only+Be+Still). 

God spoke to me during that song. It is based on Psalm 46:10: “Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.” Then I began to think about all the times in the Bible God commands us just to ‘be still’. Psalm 37:7: “Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him; fret not yourself over the one who prospers in his way, over the man who carries out evil devices!” Exodus 14:14: “The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to be silent.” Psalm 131:2: “But I have calmed and quieted my soul, like a weaned child with its mother; like a weaned child is my soul within me.” Psalm 1:1-6: “Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers; but his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water that yields its fruit in its season, and its leaf does not wither. In all that he does, he prospers. The wicked are not so, but are like chaff that the wind drives away. Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment, nor sinners in the congregation of the righteous..” There are many other occasions when the Bible refers to the benefits of being still and trusting the Lord. 

Why am I worrying so much about what I should DO? God wants me to be still. To trust, obey, and pray for His guidance in His PERFECT time. God cannot lie and will NEVER fail us. We may be discouraged, but He says there is hope if we wait on Him. So that is what I am doing. Today, I am working on simply praying and listening. I will listen for the Lord’s guidance and do what I feel He leads me to do. Or go where he directs me. I’ve made so many wrong decisions in the past by leaning unto my own understanding and trying to fix things on my own. It’s time to try it God’s way. 

~Amanda 

A single woman’s secret list

The last few months have been sprinkled with moments of great realization, thoughts that made me pause and give thanks, thoughts that made me pause and say wow, and thoughts that made me appreciate the seemingly insignificant moments even more.  One of those moments just happened and I am so compelled to write about it that I can hardly type fast enough.  Before I share the great realization contained in that moment, I must give you a brief history so you will understand where it comes from and hopefully appreciate the realization as much as I do.

Every single woman has a dream in her heart of what she wants her ideal mate to be.  He must be tall, dark, and handsome, or have lots of money, have a twisted or cheesy sense of humor to match her own, a love of children so he will help take care of hers, a sense of obligation so he will be a great provider, a hard worker, and the list goes on.  Whatever is on that list, you can be sure she is mentally checking off each item every time she is on date with a potential mate.  She will ask all the necessary questions to get enough information to compare to that list, and then some.  Yes, guys, you are on an interview every time.  But this interview has the potential to offer rewards and fringe benefits far beyond any job.  This is an opportunity to find and join forces with someone who will forever be your partner, your confidant, your soul mate, your love slave, the person who completes your world, the person who helps you reach your dreams and seek out new ones to achieve together, your heart’s desire, the reason you rush home, and the reason you are late for work, the person who can finish your sentences, put words to your thoughts, and a melody to your song.

My list was made several years ago after writing many lists titled “what I don’t want in a man.”  Unfortunately, I have never experienced the good things about marriage, you know, the honesty, the fidelity, trust, companionship, loyalty.  However, I could talk for days about the opposite of all those things, which is why my lists always consisted of things that I absolutely did not want.  That is, until 2006.  My entire outlook changed as I began thinking about what I do want.  This change in thinking was brought about after I was blessed with a new home.  Suddenly I began seeing everything in a positive light.  The divorce in 1998 made me very bitter and angry and it felt wonderful to finally let go of all that negative energy that I was unknowingly holding on to.  My eyes were open in that area and it was a new day for me in 2006.

With the new house came the hope that I would find someone to share it with.  I had faith that God would bring my soul mate to me soon.  I just knew that somehow he would miraculously show up at my front door and we would automatically know that we were meant to be together forever.  Yea, I know it sounds like a fairy tale, but God can do anything.  A fairy tale is like a walk in the park for Him!  Armed with this new positive attitude and dreams of my soul mate, I set out on my dating journey.  I was determined to get it right this time.  I started accepting offers from friends with good intentions who wanted to fix me up with someone they knew.  I even explored the option of online dating.  Everything was a flop.  Instead of writing a fairy tale, I have journals filled with horror stories about blind dating and smokin’ hot guys that turned out to be ugly on the inside.  How could this happen?  Six years later and I still have no fairy tale to write about.  And now, I have lost my house.  The thing that I connected my fairy tale to, the place where I imagined my fairy tale would be lived out…is gone.

Even though all seems lost, I do not accept that.  I refuse to take on the pity that so many of my friends and family members have for me.  I appreciate their kind words and prayers, but I don’t think they know that I can also hear their pity.  I have said many prayers about my current situation as well, and I know pity does not have a place in my present or my future.  Previous plans, hopes, dreams, and fairy tales may not happen the way I had envisioned, but they will happen.  God did not put these things in my heart, only to take them away.  He has a better plan to make these things happen than what I had envisioned.  My list has changed over the last few weeks.  And it is all due to those realizations that I have been given while going through this difficult time.

Today while thinking about the list, I began to feel discouraged.  I was remembering all the things that I had added to the list.  There were little whispers God had given me so I would know my true love when we met.  He would have a love for jazz music, “My love loves jazz,” God once told me.  He would also be very strong and confident in his walk, he would be a missionary, he would be a singer and songwriter, he would be a painter and an artist.  He would be a mason, a carpenter, a farmer, a businessman.  He would have a true and genuine love for all people, and be a servant to all people.  He would have a great respect for all women, honoring and protecting them the way all men were meant to.  He would have a sense of humor and constantly seek out reasons to laugh.  He would be a servant leader with a great vision of how good the world could be.  He would see the good qualities in all people and encourage and inspire all people to see what he sees.  I was discouraged after thinking on these things because I wondered if it was even possible for one man to be all of this.  And that is when the latest and greatest realization hit me…God is all of these things.  He is all this and more!  That is where my deepest longings and desires can be fulfilled—with God.  He is the Source of all love and all that is good.

It is very freeing and empowering at the same time to fully understand this fact.  I have read many books on Godly love and marital love and thought I had a grasp on the two.  Today, I have realized that they are not separate.  One is an extension of the other, and nothing is real unless it comes from the source.  There are many imitations of my God and many imitations of true marital love, but there is only one true God and only He is capable of putting true marital love in our hearts.  He created it and He will distribute it.  In Him is my worth and value along with my hopes and desires for the future.  He holds all of my past, present, and future in His loving and capable hands.  He knows the desires of my heart and He will give them to me in His time.  How has my list changed?  Well, it no longer exists.  I am free and I am empowered, and my trust is in Him, Jehovah Jireh.

~Loretta

Pics

Pics.

Going Forward

Hello friends!

This is Jill, posting for the first time – I am so excited and feel so blessed to see this blog finally come to fruition…to God be the glory!

To concur with Amanda, I share my thankfulness to God for these two awesome Jesus girls that He has graciously brought into my life. Loretta and I met when I was assigned to be her assistant at a new job in 2010. We became fast friends, as we shared our personal stories of struggle, joy and hope in God in our lives. She introduced me to Amanda some time later and the sisterhood was established. At that meeting, we had no idea that God was starting us on a journey that only He knew the destination.

Since that amazing Fan the Flames women’s conference, our lives have been forever changed. That day was nothing short of amazing from beginning to end.  Loretta, Amanda and I were new women of God when we walked out of those doors– much lighter in spirit and closer to God in ways that we had never experienced before. A fire was reignited in our hearts for God that remains to this day, and we intend to do all that we can to do His Will and lift up the name of Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior and share the blessed name of our Father God.

It is true that the three of us come from different walks of life, yet we are joined by our love for God as sisters in Christ. We each have traversed a path that has brought us to this point in our lives that we feel that God has orchestrated for a purpose. We each bring a unique perspective on life that is truly our own, yet each life serves to glorify God.

Here is my story…

I am a living kidney donor, having donated a kidney to my mother in 2001. Five months later, my mother passed away unexpectedly due to a stroke. I was deeply devastated at the loss of my mother and kidney recipient, yet God provided unimaginable love and comfort for me in the form of my now husband, whom I met during my mother’s funeral.  It was a very surreal experience to meet my soul mate in such a way, but it really happened just that way. God whispered to me at that meeting in His still, small voice that “this was the man that He had chosen for me“. We married within a year and immediately began our dream of starting a family. Ultimately, we had to accept that God had another plan for us, as we endured four years of fertility procedures that resulted in multiple miscarriages. The pain of loss after loss after loss was excruciating, yet I found that God never left me. In fact, He loved on me and carried me in amazing ways through every loss. I look back in amazement when I think of how I endured so much during that time in my life and the only explanation is due to the depth and breadth of God’s unwavering love….it is truly impossible to find the words to describe how far and wide His love is for His children. It is a love without words, because no words can explain it adequately.

With God’s love, I have moved beyond the pain and remain confident in His faithfulness in my life, because of the personal knowledge of how He has blessed me in unexpected ways. My husband is such an amazing blessing to me—God certainly knew what He was doing when He matched me with this sweet man. He truly is my other half. I never knew that I could laugh again after so much loss, but God gave me that sweet gift too. 🙂  My husband and I have endured so much in the past ten years, but our love for each other has only grown and solidified through the trials of life. I know that I will see my children and my mother in Heaven in God’s time, so until then, I go forward every day trusting in the truth that God’s grace is sufficient for every trial I face.

As Amanda shared, we each have the desire and passion to write. With God giving me the words and the courage, I began writing our story in 2007 and was blessed to see my book Hide and Watch published in 2010. It is through sharing this story that I hope to give others encouragement during the struggles of life to rely on God and never doubt His love for us.

I titled my first post “Going Forward” as this is how I have learned to live my life for the past ten years– picking up the pieces after loss and going forward. Despite the trials of life that will come, I have learned that I can go forward with God’s enduring love and faithfulness in my life every step of the way.

I personally feel that if we are willing to open our eyes to the sweet blessings of love that God gives us every day—the small and the large—our faith in Him will grow by leaps and bounds. The undeniable truth is that He loves us more than we can imagine and only wants us to know Him and love Him too.

It really is just that simple.

 

Keep following us for more God-inspired stories of encouragement and hope. God’s love and blessings to all!

~JHL~